Wednesday, August 27, 2008

This is fucking epic


Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Jackie Chan has entered the relm of animated blood

You laugh you loose


The movie fortress is just too kick ass not to write about. It stares the guy who plays Rayden in the Mortal Kombat movies. I looked it up to confirm that he was the same guy and noticed that there is going to be a Mortal Kombat remake with the same guy playing Rayden! I don't know what created his accent.

In this movie Rayden dude and his wife go to prison because his wife was knocked up and future America has a very strict one baby per family law, which they will put you in Jail for like 38 years for breaking. They got caught by a boarder crossing guard who had a cool prego scanner. They were crossing the boarder from Canada into America and what I don't understand is why they didn't just stay there.

So anyways they were sent to prison for about 38 years. They didn't get sent to any old prison, they got sent to motherfucking FORTRESS. Fortress is a underground prison which exists in the middle of a desert, the prison has all kinds of cool laser shit going on, and some fucked up mind reading scanners that project a grid on your head while they scan you. If you dream they fuck with your dream and turn it into something terrible. Rayden was dreaming of fucking his wife when the warden stepped in and fucked it up, not until he watched for a few minutes though.

And the warden is.....



I am going to tell you his real name because it is blowing my mind. His real name is Kurtwood Smith. So anyways Warden Red Forman turned out to be some fucked up cyborg thing who gets exploded after being shot a bunch and he explodes into blue cool aid. It looked delicous. It turned out that he was a baby owned by the company that owns the prison. The comany uses the babies from prego convicts to create slaves to help run the prison better. Red Forman bartered with Rayden guy's wife and she ended up living in the Wardens quarters so that her baby didn't turn into a fucked up blue coolaid blooded monster. She was pretty lucky because he had no reproductive organs and couldn't rape her. He only wanted her for company because he had lived his entire life in the quarters. Honestly the film is worth seeing just because Red Forman explodes.

Apparently there is a sequal.


Alright to start out i wrote a series of books regarding a world entirely based on ants. The world was called Feldor. Its was a actually a bit of grass. The kind of grass that stirs up trouble every 40 years. You know enough time for an advanced race of ants to rise and invent there own languages. The date is 3:28 AM which actually is 3:28 AM not some overly complicated system of calender. My main character is a red ant named Mercilador. The plot of the story is about Mercilador travelling out of his home, known to their race as Grass, and kick some major ass. Who's ass you say? The mighty armies of Kronalyyu, a rebel snake who built an army of swift and skilled snake fighters to once and for all crush the ants in there haven city of a Thaluu. Yeah i mean yeah......

Thaluu by the way and its inhabitants in the kingdom of Grass are not the "good guys", they where vicious blood thirsty race of ants who tried to eradicate the hell out of those snakes. Unfortunately the ants didn't realize that snakes are .......well......SNAKES! Kronalyyu and his armies attacked Thaluu only to be defeated by fucking elephants. They are just elephants and really don't need an introduction.


So reason to read this is absent but considering i am still typing and i am reading what i am
thinking which is also what i am writing should mean that there is point to keeps writing so that is what i shall do. Now that doctor is the right question......
There really should be some sort of pictureI mean who really knows why the work place is full of developers
But really more things should be green. And seriously though diary of the dead was not that great of a movie. And the Zionist overlords plan to save you some money......cough......cough um yes thats right Dodds furniture and mattress will save you a bundle.
Orange drink
Orange drink
Orange drink
Orange drink......................or grape drink.

A good movie is V for vendetta. I mean think of all the future based foods around that V just wasnt taking part in. Thats the real shame though isn't it, people getting so caught up in politics that they can't see the good things in life...

Like what?

Well you know....slurpes and stuff.

I am reluctant to keep writing as my fingers just exploded. You see the amazing Halo2 in game muuuuuuuuuuuuuusic finally reached me and simply...... my fingers blew off. People that drink things out of jars, that are really clean of course, deserve medals and shit. So the brain of a cat only weighs 30g. Not surprising thats cats can only be entertained by things almost as inanimate as they are. Who the fuck names there dog Snuffles? So i worked in a corner store. And that is why rettuce
rettuce is funny. How did you like that drop in elevation. Wow this page is so full of bull shit. People that are tripping on crack are aunt yeasty beast grape drinks. That wasn't fare but i really just wanted you to remember grape drink. Did it work? People that laugh that fucked up Santa clause way are either old or a pedophile. YOU BE THE JUDGE.

Mercilador end up owning a bunch of wasps which he turns into crude oil.

derleiter99 wrote this not redzion. Fire like a thousand proton rounds into their sacks. Why is c3po British?

Monday, August 18, 2008

A boy and his dog WTF?!

Alright so I just finished watching a few movies. One of these movies was A boy and his dog. I was told that it was worth watching, I guess they meant while sober. At the moment I am assuming that this movie didn't make any sense to me because of the drugs, but this movie was way to fucked up to understand.

The shortened plot of this movie is as follows. Vic and his dog named Blood are living in a post apocalyptic world, where they live to have sex and fight for food. The thing is, they can physicly communicate. Vic the dumber of the two uses Blood to sniff out women so that he can violently rape them. From the beginning of the movie I was confused as hell, but I rolled with it. Once you start to get in to it the movie you are bombarded with things that make you say "HUH?!". A good example of this are the "screamers". Everyone is terrified of the screamers (they are called screamers when really they moan) because if they touch you you will fucking die. You never see a screamer although you do see the green glow that they give off (that's right they fucking glow green). I don't have a big problem with having to make the conclusion that the screamers are radioactive mutants, but I would rather have at least fucking seen one. Vic was almost found by the screamers when he went into their underground lair to rape a woman which his dog, who is rather intelligent, sniffed out. Eventually the woman, Vic, and blood are all hiding in what I though was a furnace. While in this furnace Vic and the woman bang twice (while Blood lays 2 feet away). Eventually the girl begins to talk about how she is from "the down under". I assumed she meant Australlia but apparently she meant some fucked up underground society where everyone wears Joker makeup and acts like it is the 50s. I CANT MAKE THIS SHIT UP! Vic enteres this fucked up world and imediatly he is taken from behind, stripped, and bathed. From this point everything happened so fast that the plot was almost impossible to follow. Longstory short, the people wanted to bring Vic down there so that they could use his sperm to impregnate all of their women (I'm assuming that they wanted to bread babys that could communicate with dogs), while Vic is hooked up to some very painfull sperm extraction system women are brought into the room and I think they were married to his sperm (I really don't fucking know), the girl that lead vic down there knocked out the minister with some roses and they escaped the building. Outside of the building some 50s do-opers were waiting because they wanted Vic to kill the leader of their council. Vic, being as pissed off as any man who had a tube down his dick would be, told them to fuck off. Next some big farmer looking dude just fucking graps one of the do-opers by the neck and fucking broke it. He continued to kill the others even though none of them were seen doing anything that would make them deserve a broken neck. The killer then turned to Vic and the girl. When he got close Vic began to shoot at him, which didn't effect him in any way. Eventually the farmer dude fell over and began to spark, when this happened the leader of the council make a remark about getting another "bill" off the line, even though he couldn't have seen him die. Eventually Vic and the girl escape only to find that Blood was almost dead, due to his ingueries from a previous fight. Just when you think Blood is going to die it cuts to a later scene where Vic and Blood walk off into the sunset laughing about how good the girl tasted, BECAUSE THEY FUCKING ATE HER!

Friday, August 15, 2008

Land of the dead

Although I don't want to turn this blog into a gaming one, I have to make this post. I don't know if any of you remember seeing commercials for the Land of the dead game in the advertisements at the beginning of dvd. I thought that it looked like a decent game at the time, but I didn't notice when it came out. Recently I was browsing warez-bb and I stumbled upon it. The game has kept me occupied for the past hour or so. It's not just that it is a zombie game, it's the fact that it is a PC made linear zombie game with multiplayer. That's right multiplayer, and for the PC. For a game that I have never hear of being brought up on any zombie game lists or anywhere for that matter, this game deserves some attention.

First things first. The game has some pretty linear gameplay. You find yourself comepleting the repetitive task of searching for Keys and looking for tools to open doors. In the past few years we have lost linear gameplay, it has almost become something which should be avioded. While I do enjoy games with a really open environment, linear games are a great gem that are being lost. With linear games the story line is straight forward. this makes it so everyone has to complete the same challenges in the same way, which means that it is the same difficulty for everyone (well except parapeligics). This also makes it so you can also beat the game to 100% in your spare time on a weekend. This is great for someone who doesn't want to have to become devoted to a game for weeks.

The game is worth mentioning because like all zombie games you get to kill many zombies with many different weapons. But the thing that makes this game stand out is the multiplayer. The maps are basic and it comes with the game types that all fps games should have: Slayer, Team Slayer, Capture the Flag ect. The thing that makes this so great is that anyone can pick it up in a few minutes to have fun on a ongoing lan party, which is what I am doing now. Currently, I have set it up so the games are on rotation with 4 of the best maps. When people feel the need to kill zombies or have a quick game of slayer, WE DO!

Zombie games exist for one reason, and that reason is killing as much as you can with whatever you can think of. In zombie movies as well as games it is best if they are lacking in the story line department because then everything can be focussed on the very fun gameplay.

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Duke Nukem Forever is going to kick ass

I've been playing duke nukem 3d lately and the game is so fucking hard because of how weird the controls seem. The default controls that is. It is possible to change the mouse controls so you can use both axes. I haven't been able to get them to work because dosbox is a piece of shit on my PC at the moment, but when I do enjoyment will be had. Until yesterday I didn't even remember the Holoduke! I used to play with that for hours. Everyone remembers Duke saying "Much better" after taking a piss, but do you remember him saying "I cant play with myself right now" when you try to play a old Duke Nukem arcade machine. I am almost done downloading Star Wars: Pod Racer. Yeah Pod Racer.


If you are reading this then chances are that you have noticed the sweet lava lamp on the side. I admit that it isn't the best looking lava lamp in the world, but I have enjoyed looking at it so much that I am going to use it. I am aware of how shitty the "Make your own" link looks. I left it there because I thought you would enjoy the process of making a lava lamp. That is half the reason I am using it at the moment. Have you opened it yet? Yeah! You can put fucking symbols on it!! I have also added a label cloud at the bottom. That's right boys and girls. Those things are called label clouds. I learned that when I found it and I have been enjoying just knowing what they are called.

A race of pimp aliens

Fuck shit! I was trying so hard to start this post because I have some fucked up news so share. The Detour is going to be playing American Dad! I am not saying that with excitement. American Dad is a funny show at times but it is just so fucked up that it is playing on the Detour. My mind is blowing.

Shit is fucked. I was walking home a hour or so ago and I was talking about this paranormal thing I was reading about that was hilarious. Apparently when you look at a clock and it reads 12:12 or 11:11 or 3:33, 3:03 etc it means that angels are trying to communicate with you. There has to be other opinions on this because fucking angels, really? I do think that it is kind of fucked up because I fell asleep reading it and when I woke up I remember because it was still on my monitor and when I looked at my VCR (Yes a fucking VCR! I looked at it because I don't have a clock on my taskbar.)the time was 11:11 and for days afterwords I started to notice that it was happening to me a lot. At first I thought that it was because the stupid idea was fresh in my head but when I thought about it I remembered experiencing this many times in the past. It could have been a memory that I forced into existence from thin air but the situation is still fucked up. What makes this theory more crazy is that the page I was reading also tried to tie the sudden turning on and off of street lights when walking under them into it. The theory was shit to begin with it didn't need to tie something equally bad with it to make it worse. So the webpage was saying that both of these phenomena are a way of your guardian angel signaling to you that they exist. Wow this was a pretty long paragraph.

Paragraph II: A race of pimp aliens explained
Well as you can see in my poorly drawn picture there is a spaceman of sorts in what appears to be a pink and purple craft, you could also call it a vessil of sorts. While this space man is infact very fucked up because it appears to have some kind of broken glass mask, I have made him to be a uber pimp alien in my mind. I have done this because I created the pic a few days ago and never uploaded it. In the mean time I have been thinking about making the post and over time I began to remember the dude as a fucking pimp. I think that this could be because of all the purple. Pimp purple... Hell even pink! They all start with a P. Pee. Puh.

Imagine if there was a race of pimp aliens that had a race of hookers which it did it's thing with. There are a lot of cool alien ideas out there. None of that humanoid bullshit. The humanoid thing can be good in some cases, but I really want to see some creative aliens. Imagine a race of aliens which for some reason when they suffer even the smallest cut all of there blood (if you want to call it that) sprays out until they die. They are a race which lives for a long time as long as they don't die of blood loss. The could be called hemophilians or something. That was the best alien race I could come up with off the top of my head.

A new post now featuring "lables"

I just saw Pineapple express for the second time today. The amount of people who were going to see it again amazed me. I didn't make a post about it before simply because I'm lazy. I guess I'll type a fucking review out. That fucking back there in the sentence before this one was supposed to be really angry. Maybe I should make it bold or something....

The movie had everything a stoner could dream of. Action, comedy, a easy to follow plot, and the movie was drug related. It was the little things in the movie that made Pineapple Express a wonderful experience great. For example, Sauls apartment looked so amazingly comfortable. It had one of those coffie tables with droors (there is something wrong with the spelling of that. I mean look at that word.) and a couch with a pleantiful amount of pillows. You can never have too many pillows! There were many slow motion scenes and quick zooming that just added a effect of SHIT YEAH! I will probably go see this movie again soon as it was probably the best movie to come out this summer (aside from the Dark Knight of course). Wow I am pretty impressed with how well this post turned out because I am fucking baked.

Friday, August 8, 2008

Yet another crazy idea

So I was browsing the bike department at Canadian Tire when I remembered that you could buy water holding backpacks, like the one in the picture. I don't know if it was the thirst for water or the thirst to create something but I ended up buying one because I figured I would be able to convert it from a water dispenser to a motherfucking backpack bong! I am going to start construction on this sometime soon which will mean I will have to lay off on the boxing bag bong idea. It will be worth it though because the idea of being able to take a hit from a massive bong while riding a bike or something is blowing my mind at the moment. I will post pics when I am done.

Wednesday, August 6, 2008


I just smoked a celebratory joint as I have just purchased the domain for blowupthesky. I chose .net because apparently .com was already reserved. Nonetheless I am happy with my purchase as the blog seems a lot more official. I don't know what direction I will take this in but at least it is getting started.

Some drawings

It feels strange typing because for the last half an hour I have been drawing. I don't have an explanation for any of the drawings so don't even bother asking. Also I'm not making any claims of having a decent drawing ability. I was just high and felt like drawing.

This one was saved as bedind

This one was saved as brush man


Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Video dump

I am going to warn you that some of these videos could take your trip in the wrong direction. I enjoyed most of them but many people I have showed were terrified of some.

This video is both terrifying and hilarious. If drug commercials like this still existed a lot less people would be using them.

I like this simply because of the texture.

This is the best video of all. I am not even going to talk about it. Simply watch it and enjoy.

Quick thought

Imagine if it was common for people do get around by doing the worm.

You all meet in a tavern

Hering stupid people talk can be the funniest thing. I should probably start by saying that I haven't made a post in so long simply because I am way to lazy. It's a whole lot more enjoyable doing things that aren't typing but I have to in order to keep this blog alive. Woah shit I was just saying what I was typing out loud.

I've been thinking of starting to make comics or just draw some things, after all I do have a drawing table it would be nice to put it to some use.

Goddamn it is so terrible not having headphones. I am thinking about buying some really high quality ones because of this thought: If you haven't already noticed high quality headphones make everything more amazing. Imagine having high quality headphones except they are also 5.1 surround sound headphones. It would be perfect for listening to some amazing surround sound music.

I will now end this post with a video from my bookmarks. I don't at this point know what the video will be as I haven't picked it out yet (as usual) but it will be worth watching. Enjoy

Saturday, August 2, 2008

Doug the drug