Sunday, November 30, 2008

Niggah now you be Griddlin'!!

I stare at the clock and there's but 14 minutes until the weekend is finally over, I sit here baked and coming in and out of a mild acid high from a failed attempt to trip today..

It all began some time ago, before the weekend had even started. Mushrooms had become available and apparently rather good ones as well.. Redzion and I had enough money to buy a good sum of these mushrooms, I had never properly tripped on mushrooms because I am nigh immune to their effects but was optimistic to try after being told how potent they were. Being led to believe so opted for us to bring a third member along, Nero of course being said party member. Dividing the mushrooms up into 2 larger equal piles for myself and Redzion, and one smaller one for Nero. With all things in order we ventured out, heading on foot to the mountain it was cold and wet out but pleasant nonetheless. Hiking around, staring at the slough, and enjoying the surroundings ensued, all of which seemed to be chasing after the promising engagement of a trip about to begin, but had gone nowhere. After some time I had realized the mushrooms had been a failed attempt for at least myself experiencing mild colour distortion if anything at all beyond the overall pleasant scenery on the mountain.

Regretful of the decision to share came followed by the damnation of my immunity to psilocybin. The day had ceased to be and another had begun, and on this other day Redzion contacted me in hopes for Mushrooms 2 Electric Boogaloo so as to engage in a proper trip, I happily obliged to his offer and with some work I managed to get more money to contribute to the days events. This time with more mushrooms between just the two of us. Walking across town to pick up the sporelicious mush, and then dividing it in an alley. I instantly nommed mine, and persistently chewed until it was but a pulpy liquid of drug. Due to how fucking cold and wet outside it was we designated our trip toward a friend's place. Feeling kind of high from time to time, it was there but never elevated to the point of tripping and found that the most gratifying part of the experience was how incredibly comfortable I was sitting there, and listening to music which seemed to effect the mushrooms the most, with mild auditory distortion, and displacement. It was finally dark out and we decided to go walk and look at the night time scenery which included Christmas lights and other such bright wonders. He went home, and I'd returned to my friends. Again, another failed attempt but this time mostly on my friends wallet. The party I was with headed over to Randy's where it was the night's saving point was getting baked and playing Smash Bros Brawl and learning of an acid contact, which was excellent as the last time I has done LSD it was an amazing experience encompassing many elements to what was essentially "The Perfect Trip." I'd started at around noon gone up to the mountain where heavy visualizations came to me, colours were amplified to the point of glowing off of the object it was, and I had wandered the mountain barefoot in the earth of the mountain enjoying every facet of the experience and when I had come down off the mountain it was only the start of a vast journey. Going off into the night, the tail lights on cars were streaming ten fifteen feet behind them glowing brightly. ...Reminiscing that experience is an experience in of itself.

Sunday.. the last day... Acid day......

Up before noon and already, plans for a third attempt to trip had been brewed. Again, the regular three being myself Redzion, and Nero were the subjects. Pitching our money together we were able to purchase 1.5 blotters a piece. Onto the tongue they went, and out we went. Our journey had been directed to that of the Mall's as it was almost December, the Christmas decorations, and lights would be strewn about along awesome childrens toys to look at and what not. I felt myself coming up in the mall slight visual distortion here and there, but also receiving the acid mindset wherein your thought patterns differ and you can literally feel and think differently. I had excitedly awaited the trip that was to come. We visited many different stores in both malls, enjoying the scene and went to Canadian Tire where I lived a life of enjoyment and was enthralled with EVERYTHING the brightly coloured liquids, the tall isles looming over me, the lamps section, and everything else. Still yet the acid high had not broken thresh hold and I had declared it the final failure in my weekend of attempts. Returning from the mall, Redzion went home and I went to Nero's. I started cleaning the bowl to my bubbler and got a decent sized ball of resin that I didn't expect, and then some massive resin globbage from the stem, this incited my nigh OCD scraping mindset, and I scraped that motherfucker cleaaaaan as can be. But then came the dilemma of consuming this substance, as I could put it in my bubbler but hot knifing it would be way more efficient and a better use of it. Couldn't hot knife in his kitchen it was too early and his family was bound to notice, so in despair we thought. And then Nero has an idea, a legendary one... his idea was the heart and soul to this post his idea was...


We took that amazing hunk of metal and raw Griddling power into his room, plugged it in set it to Griddle at 420 degrees on SEAR mode and BAM!! we had fucking hot knives ready to go. The Griddler is a fine accessory for portable, plug in, hot knives, and there is a surefire pimp festival to go down from use of The Griddler. From the comfort of our seats, we took beaner after beaner via a modified lightsaber as the hooter, Niggah, we was GRIDDLIN'!! It was the final redemption to a multitude of failure. Ripped and ready to make my leave I was poured a bag of muncha-cruncha-liscious nesquik cereal, it was a delicious and chocolatey snack for the return home. Walking all the way home, I went to my room to remove my jacket, seating myself at my computer..... I stare at the clock and there's but 14 minutes until the weekend is finally over, I sit here baked and coming in and out of a mild acid high from a failed attempt to trip today..

Mystery Science Theater 3000 saved my life

So I was coming down from mushrooms and so unbelievably bored that I wanted to kill myself. Seriously I was so fucking bored. There was absolutely nothing to do... and then MST3K came on. Actually before it came on I scrounged up a bowl to kill my boredom.

I have heard of the show in the past but never seen it in all of it's glory. The primes for the show is a man and his robot sidekicks are trapped on a satellite and forced to watch B movies all day. During these B movie's they make fun of the movie, it's the best fucking thing ever.

Here is the intro to season 10

And here is a sample of what the show is

By the way, drug related jokes are made.

Funniest thing of the week

This comercial show sjust how powerful Blizzard has become. There are going to be many people who start playing wow simply because Ozzy is in a commercial for it. None of that matters simply because of his character's face at the end when he yells "SHARRRON!".

Saturday, November 29, 2008

Mortal Kombat Guy Soundboard

So some people at Maxim were interviewing Herman Sanchez, who does the menacing Finish Him voice in Mortal Kombat (His name is fucking Herman Sanchez), and they did what anyone else who was in a conversation with this man would to... Make him say funny shit. Anyways here is the soundboard that they made, I think it could have been a lot better but I luled a bit.

Thursday, November 27, 2008

The Unfinished Swan

The Unfinished Swan is a first-person painting game set in a world that is always one bold color. The video pretty much says it all. When I found this it was in a video called "chill game" and I must say this is quite a chill. I hope there is some development for this soon.

Virtual Barber Shop

I am going to have to ask you to do several things:

1) Do some drugs
2) Put on some quality headphones
3) Cover your eyes with something
4) Play this video


As a means to earn money every few weeks I have been independently hired by a company to deliver door nob ads. Don't get me wrong I hate these advertisements very much, but it's easy as shit do to and you make decent money. I'm not kidding you. For about 4 hours work I made exactly $100, which I think is pretty sweet.

Because the job is so easy it requires very little thought, which means I can do the job baked. You would be surprised at the meditative state that you can reach when delivering these ads. You become tuned out to the rest of the world and focused on deep thought. Most of this thought consists of theories involving people or things that I see. You wouldn't believe what I see. Are you aware how many different alarm companies there are, yet how few different screen door types? It's small things like that. Seeing people's arrangement of garden ornaments and wondering the story behind each one of them. Each house I deliver to has people with there own life, opinions, and story; it blows my mind.

So the other day when I was delivering these ads I was considering not smoking up until I got to the routes I knew. I would finish the new route, which by the way was 420 ads, and go get baked and do the one's that I knew because I had a strategy for them. I was thinking about this when I walked up to a house with the address 47420, I looked down at my watch and the time was 4:19, and to top it off the route I was delivering was still very much 420 ads. I don't think I need to say what choice I made.

Also on the way back I was getting pretty pissed off at the fact that sidewalks are at the side of the road. What the fuck is that shit about? Car's, which are quickly moving masses of metal and explosive liquids, are speeding only feet beside foot pedestrians. There has to be a better way of doing this.

Monday, November 24, 2008

Movies Worthy of Your High Times

After scrounging I found a decent sized resin slathered roach and through it in my bubbler so I could sit down and watch a movie, I ended up choosing Wanted. As in that action movie that looked kind of like a generic, Matrixy action movie about assassins.. Well it turns out to be something more, MUCH more.

I'll take you guys up to speed on my lazy ass synopsis.The movie is about some loser who is a fucking pussy, there is a group of assassins who kill people in fucking sweet ways, they kidnap loser guy who happens to be the son of one of the best assassins to have lived, and was recently killed by a rogue assassin. Loser guy becomes badass guy, tons more killing, some sweet plot shit and tons more killing.

The movie starts off with a bang, which instantly captivated my reluctant attention to the screen. On the action movie standard action scale of one to ten, it's just below Shoot 'Em Up, and Crank, at about thirty million. The action picks up quickly, and lasts a good portion of the movie, changing the expected boring dialogue speech to they're saying cool captivating shit all the while people are being killed, beaten, shot, stabbed, and BLOCKING FUCKING BULLETS WITH OTHER BULLETS!! Like that shit is hardcore.

There are knife fights, plenty of Gun Fu, and a surprisingly decent story. Lots of explosions and rather well... unique action scenes that I can't really explain 'til you see yourself. Lots of people are killed, and not just killed, but righteously owned in ways that make you go "Holy shit, that was fucking cool!!" Heads explode, bullets weave and wind their way to targets via advanced shooting techniques, and millions of rats explode. And yes, you read that correctly.

Gratuitous violence: Check.
Awesome Visually Pleasing Cool Shit: Very fucking check.
Intense Action: Oh Lord yes!
Trippy Shit: Yeah, they even have that angle covered.
And This:

This movie is Deemed Worthy As Fuck of your High Times.

Smoking With A Shotgun

Thursday, November 20, 2008


got me high today, VERY high. It was dubbed "Killer" (and for good reason cause this thing slays in ALL the right ways) by BJ my friend and owner of that gorgeous piece of glassware.

It has a massive bowl, and delivers pleasantly savage tokes that leave the thickest smoke billowing from your mouth the moment you open it. Smoking this at the back of a school field while there was a PE class playing in that field was a good call because the wind was blowing their way so they could smell the delicious greenery we were consuming.

Then after that wonderful sesh I walked across town to proceed to get higher later in the day with Redzion whilst still being high from the previous endeavour that was that bong, where I just chilled out watched Saints Row II get played and listened to a lot of super chill music.. And then while coming home and being high I found this... Prepare your minds, and constrain your face muscles, melting of the mind will probably occur.


Clutch are thirty-two million kinds of awesome

Watch that. If that is not the most metal thing you have seen all day then you are doing some pretty metal things. Like stomping on the skulls of endangered species with steel toe boots made from human skeletons metal. If you are doing things of that metal-magnitude, or metatude if you will, then you should call up Universal studios or some shit and when they answer just yell. They will imediatly sense your incredible skill at being awesome, and give you an action movie deal. You will then spend all of the budget on knives and whiskey, and make the movie a documentary about how you got drunk as shit and stabbed people for two hours. It will win seven golden globes.

Anyhow, Clutch. They are the stonerest blusiest rockinest band ever. Neil Fallon is king is three countries because he deposed the previous ruler by melting them with the deep tones of his voice. I mean the fire, which is on his beard mind you, gets the fuck out when he starts singing at full intensity again. What is not to love?

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Cosmic Drug Dealer

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

I'll just leave this here

Marijuana is DANGEROUS!


Monday, November 17, 2008

The Stuff Legends Are Made Of

Marijuana, that viciously delicious herb that tantalizes our taste buds and tingles our nerves. Saturday night a friend of mine NERO and I had gone on a quest for some cannabis. I inquired if my friend had brought his cellphone, and he had forgotten, so I was without the ability to call my normal dealer.

Walking across town to another friends in hopes of salvation was in fact another failure as they were not at home, but continuing on we came across an associate of mine named Dustin, I asked if he knew where we could acquire some marijuana. Upon hearing this he promptly responded "How much?" And we replied "Just a dime.." He brought us aside opened his backpack where he had a satchel, and within the satchel there was a large sum of gorgeous looking bud, he said it was some kind of Kush. He asked to eyeball it, I agreed as I thought a scale outside by the street was as impractical as it was stupid. He gave us a small handful of beautiful little nugs that we happily paid for.

The weed smelled fucking incredible, it's pungent odour was something to be smelled afar despite how small the amount was. Returning to his house we used my bubbler to consume this tasty cannabis treat. I busted it up and packed the massive bowl atop the bubbler, it went back and forth nicely a few times and when it was gone I was high.. Like REALLY high, and then 5 minutes later I was even fucking higher. We played Street Fighter on his SNES, and watched old recorded Digimon episodes from The Zone on YTV. It fucking blew my mind in half because not only was I really really high, it had commercials from the 90's my fucking childhood was being thrown before my eyes the nostalgia was nigh lethal. This kept us high as balls for several hours, and in fact went to sleep ripped to shit in the early hours of morning.

Waking up late and chillin out was sweet, and even better when I discovered they was more then a packed bowls worth left, smoking this we got even fucking higher and played Diablo II while listening to both Alestorm (PIRATE METAL MOTHERFUCKERS!! YEEAAAHH!!) and Dr. Steel (future emperor of the world I'll post about him later.) We then quit Diablo II after a longass time ate a bunch more food, and then listened to more music ranging from Streetlight Manifesto, to Venetian Snares, Andrew WK, and Infected Mushroom.

The moral of the story is it was really fucking good weed, and in fact I am high right now typing this from the resin that that bud provided me with...

Sunday, November 16, 2008

New Fanboys Trailer

I've been waiting sense I saw Clerks 1 for this film to come out.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Ronald Jenkees

Ronald Jenkees is fucking amazing. There isn't much to say here so just listen.

Oh yeah, this song is a fucking improv jam.

I had to post another

The Protomen

Okay motherfuckers listen up, you like cyberpunk dystopian futures? You like bands that kick copious sums of ass? You like Megaman? Well then say hello to The Protomen. An Indie band that performs their amazingly well done rock opera version of the epic saga that is Megaman. Whats that? Not that epic of a saga you say? Just a blue dude in a suit shooting things? Well you couldn't be further from the fucking truth, like at all. Just watch the video and you will see how truly epic the Megaman saga is.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Caffeine High

Okay so I never make coffee like EVER, but this morning I woke up early as balls and found it necessary to make some coffee. I put four massive fucking scoops for only 4 cups of coffee as I don't know how to make coffee. This turned out to be a mistake it was SUPER FUCKING STRONG (and in fact left a sludge like residue of pure caffeine in my cup), I put some hot chocolate mix in to mask the overpowering and nigh sickening taste of caffeine and slammed back all four cups. After a while I was fucking awake as possible, in fact I was uncontrollably shaking, felt sick, and high. You might say, dude who cares it's fucking coffee?! Well the point of this post isn't really to talk about my caffeine high it's to say that I just took a piss and IT SMELLED LIKE COFFEE!! Now I don't go about wafting my urine, but it smelled of coffee so strongly I said to myself something smells like coffee, and then I realized the smell was my piss. Now that is not something I am proud of it's just rather disturbing, and I thought I should inform the world of it why? Do I seriously need a reason I mean come on look at this site.

The Most Metal Game Ever / Another Greatest Game No One Has Played (Yet)

I am of course speaking of Brütal Legend, now I am not one to simply preemptively love a game, but in this case I am afraid I have no choice in the matter. Coming from the deranged genius that is Tim Schafer, Brütal Legend is quite possibly the strangest, most unique, and most fucking Brütal game to ever exist.

You play as Eddie Riggs, (named after Iron Maidens infamous mascot, and voiced by Jack Black) Eddie is roadie for a metal band and whilst tuning a guitar starts to bleed on his all too bitchin' (and apparently cursed) belt buckle. This causes his buckle to come to life and whisks him off to an alternate realm which consists of heavily influenced Norse mythology (AKA the best fucking mythology) and Metal, yes I mean the genre of music where they bust out solos that sound like impaled dying pig fetuses squealing in eternal pain and gurgling on their own festering bodily fluids. And if you think that would sound shitty then you CLEARLY don't listen to enough Slayer, and if you think Slayer is shitty then I hope you fucking choke on a placenta sammiche.

Anyhow, back to the masterpiece at hand.. Allow me to quote Wikipedia to further prove the nigh infinite amounts of badassery that emits from this game. "Riggs must climb a mystical mountain to do battle with a motorcycle driving bass guitarist (voiced by Motörhead's Lemmy), called the Kill Master"

The gameplay is that of an action adventure game, the known weaponry in the game is a battle axe that is used to viscerally cleave your enemies into oblivion, a guitar that is the source of casting magic spells. Yeah you heard me right, you bust out bitchin' solos to annihilate your enemies with an array of spells that includes summoning the wrath of pyrotechnics below your enemies incinerating them, or performing a face melting solo that will LITERALLY melt your foes faces the fuck off. And last but not least the Deuce, the Deuce is a car, a really REALLY badass car that you can upgrade in ancient garages, and is used to travel the large open world in the game.

Oh and let's not forget to mention, that the voice acting cast is quite incredible featuring Jack Black of Tenacious D, Rob Halford of Judas Priest, Lemmy Kilmister of Motorhead, Ronnie James Dio of Black Sabbath, and many unnamed Hollywood actors. I could go on for another hundred years talking about this game, but instead I'll just leave you with a trailer that is going to rock your fucking cock off

I apologize to those of you who's cocks just got rocked off.

The Business Behind Getting High

Whether you are one for documentaries or not you should most certainly look into The Union. An upcoming documentary about British Columbia's largest industry. Thats right, everyones favourite plant is B.C.'s biggest industry, B.C. Bud grosses billions of dollars every year as it's exported out to the states, and across Canada. Home of some of the worlds best bud, British Columbia has a high demand to supply the high nation wide (and then some). The Union covers it's legality, use, users, buyers, growers, sellers, and all the problems this miracle plant could solve, be it medically, economically, or environmentally.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

My experience on Dramamine

Yesterday fellow blow up the sky blogger insomniac and I decided to take some Dramamine in the hopes of getting fucked up for the day. After about 4 hours of sitting around waiting for something to happen, we gave up and parted ways. I went home because I was tired, and that's where shit got fucked up.

Before we parted ways, there was a church sign that said "STAY AWAKE!". My immediate response was that we were in a Freddy Kurger dream world and were soon to be doomed. When I was at my house I was laying on my couch watching TV dozing in and out of sleep. At one point I felt so heavy that I was completely unable to move. It was at this point that I noticed a red glowing coming from the crack below the door to the room known to me and my friends as "the freddy room". We call it that becasue when I moved in it looked sort of like Freddy Kruger's boiler room workshop. Anyways I was dozing in and out of sleep staring at the door when suddenly it burst open and a fucking manta ray with Freddy's face started flying around in my room. I started laughing because I mean Freddy's face on a manta ray. I don't even remember how or if it left, all I remember is attempting to contact the outside world via my computer. I am waiting for confirmation on whether or not my messages reached the people I sent them to.

One thing's for sure. I got fucked up on that shit.

Monday, November 10, 2008

Chair Thrown In Political Debate

This requires no explanation.

Sunday, November 9, 2008

Grinders want to grind, Boomers want to boom, I want to play Fallout 3

I want to tell you a story, a story that may or may not make you feel sympathy for people in the same boat as me. If you are in the same boat as me then just know that you are not alone. I have sense the release day of Fallout 3 only been able to play it today, and that game play only lasted about 4 minutes. I know that many people are going to think "it's just a game dude chill, there are people who are born as sex slaves and get raped every day." As the second part of that statement may be true, the first is completely false. Fallout III (I am now going to use Roman Numerals when referring to this game as it completely deserves it) is probably the best game that has been been released to date. I have seen my friends become addicted to the point of meth fiendery, and I have sat by and waited. I have passed up opportunities to play it simply because I know that playing it for an amount of time less then 72 hours is completely unacceptable. Just recently I got the game to work on my PC. The PC version has one major problem at this time, IT CRASHES EVERY FUCKING FEW MINUTES!

This post isn't about Fallout III, it's about the fact that I have played every big game released sense then. This includes Gears Of War 2, which I have to problems with. You see one of the problems with Fallout III is that it makes every game obsolete in comparison, this was true for some period of time but I have learned to control it. I have learned to enjoy games that aren't Fallout III.

Rather then summing up how good Gears Of War 2 is I am instead going to explain how good of a time I had playing it. I sat down relatively baked with a 12er of Coke, I turned murmaider on and set my media player to repeat. I busted out my shotgun and used nothing but. If this doesn't sound amazing to you yet then I believe that you have no idea how amazing the new gears of war gore system is.

OK so I lied, I also used the Boltok Pistol, for long ranged attack of course. I really hope that this has summed up how good of a time I have had because at this point I am so intoxicated that I am unable to sum it up any further.

Oh and as for an explanation of what the fuck a grinder is I will link you to it's Gearspedia page.
Click here to leanrn all about Boomers.
Boomers and grinders are one and the same, the only diference is the weapons that they use. Oh and the fact that boomers say BOOM! and grinders say GRIND! At one point in the game I had taken out all the enemies except for 3 Grinders and 2 boomers, I rolled around them until they ran out of ammo, then I seshed them up.

I have tried to find a video of boomers saying "boom!" and grinders saying "grind", but sadly there is only one video which is narrated by a very loud and anoying English kid so fuck it.

Oh and to everyone who says: "dude WTF why you no use no chainsaw?" I did, but only at the parts that fucking needed it. I know it's hard to believe that a chainsaw mounted to a assult rifle is not better then a shot gun, this is something you are going to have to trust me with.

Finally I am going to end this by giving you an amazing piece of knowledge. Predators have been implemented into the game.

The Greatest Game You've Never Played / A Post Featuring More Colour!

Thats right, I'm talking about Psychonauts and YES I will be making the word Psychonauts bold and purple everytime I say Psychonauts because it is fucking worth it. I mean look at that cover art, this game is a stoners best friend, or in my case one of the many Deities I follow (Bruce Campbell being the overlord of these deities) Oh yeah and if cover art isn't enough to convince you how fucking awesome it is (cause it sure as shit convinced me.) then I will be inclined to explain and show you why the fuck you should own twelve copies of this game.

First off the style, this game masterfully combines elements of Tim Burton-esque animation with super lush bright glowing mesmerizing colours, it is a hypnotically gorgeous game. Now you take this amazing art style of drool worthy colours, and awesome character designs, and ac
tually you know make well rounded characters out of them (something rather unheard of in the gaming world) I won't bother explaining the story as there is no way I could possibly sum up how insane, twisted, hilarious, and awesome this game's story is. Well I suppose I'll elaborate on the comedic value, think satirical, black humor (not to be mistaken with black people humor). The game itself is an absolute mindfuck, as it is an action platformer, in which YOU GO INTO PEOPLES FUCKING MINDS VIA A FUCKING DOOR ON THEIR FOREHEAD and traverse their mindscape. And yes, it IS as trippy as you'd expect, possibly even more so dependng on the amount of mind altering substances consumed, and just something to look foreword to there is a batshit insane Milkman whos mind you get to enter, and he sees everything as a conspiracy theory and is PARANOID TO SHIT!! You also get several psychic powers that are utilized in rather unique ways. Just look at these pictures, LOOK AT THOSE FUCKING COLOURS MAN!! LOOK! Now YOU! YES YOU have to go purchase as many copies of Psychonauts as you can as Psychonauts is fucking incredible. Like Jesus Cock Knocking Christ I BEG YOU TO GO BUY PSYCHONAUTS!!!!!!!!!

Tim Schafer creator of
Psychonauts has a new game coming out, I will probably be posting that shit ASAP as it is called Brutal Legend, it is about METAL and killing shit.

The Cure To Every Disease Known To Man

I highly recommend why? Because it says HYPER DEATH BABIES FOR FUCK SAKES!!

Scientists Need To Genetically Engineer Better Weed

Now when I say "Scientists Need To Genetically Engineer Better Weed" I mean we need the worlds top fucking scientists improving it in more aspects then potency and taste. (although most weed I smoke is both potent and delicious this ALWAYS has room for improvement) What I have in mind particularly is a Marijuana strain with FUCKING COTTON CANDY PHYSICS!! Now for those of you who aren't aware of my acquired stoner lingo, when I say Cotton Candy physics I mean the ways in which you can manipulate cotton candy, as in how it can be stretched out in delicious fibres woven in and out of each other. Now imagine you get home and you have some fucking delicious looking bud and already you are rather satisfied with your purchase just from the look and amazing smell emitting from your bag, you remove a gorgeous and chasti sized nug to be placed into your buster and you start the process but to your surprise instead of little ground up crumbulets you see that your nug has simply expanded into a fibrous wonder of THC riddled flavour. You can now pull it apart, like cotton candy, stretch it, and obviously smoke it. (I say that last because if I were to discover this I would have played with it for some time, then I'd have to clean up semen puddles from the orgasm, it would have just incurred.) So now scientists of the world I urge you, no. I humbly PLEAD you to create such divine innovations for the world of cannabis consumption so that future generations can have the honour of smoking THIIIIIIISSSSS!!!!!

Thursday, November 6, 2008

Your Mind Is Going To Fucking Melt

This should have been, and probably was addressed on prior versions of BUTS, but that is neither here nor now and as such it will be RE-addressed. This is going to penetrate your skull, and fuck your brain until blood, brains, and cum flow from your ears. Not much else can be said, as this is an indescribable mind rape.

..Yeah, I know right?


Wednesday, November 5, 2008

CNN Elections

Watching CNN baked last night during the elections was pretty fun. After Obama started pwning to the point where there was no doubt that he was going to win; CNN started showing crowd reaction shots. Most of the people in these shots were cheering and generally being happy, everyone except for one man. There was a guy who was almost in the front row. He had a suit on and crossed arms and was crying as fuck. Because of his stance I am inclined to believe that he was really sad that McCain didn't win.

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

That Reefer Man

That reefer man is so fucking high that this video emits THC soundwaves, it is the bees knees, the cats pajamas, and all that jazz.

Also if this song doesn't convince you of how fucking undeniably awesome smoking weed is, then you are clearly a racist.

Remember Remember the Fifth of November

So this morning I found a box of old fireworks that I somehow managed to put out of my mind, I remember now that I wanted to put them to good use but didn't know when. Also I realized that today is the 4th of November thus making tomorrow the 5th. So luckily I've got my Guy Fawkes day shit prepared. I can almost guarantee that before you read this post you completely forgot about the holiday tomorrow so I am making this post to ensure that more destruction happens.

Something is happening

If you look back at many of the posts here on Blow Up The Sky you may notice that there are areas in some posts with 2-3 extra spaces. I would like to take the time to declare that no one who posts here is doing that. At first I thought it was an annoying glitch, but then I noticed something...

There are totally faces hidden in this shit.

The first conclusion I have made about this strange phenomena is that there are some motherfucking witches fucking with my shit. I will not take shit from witches so get fucked you motherfuckers.

Spin Span Spun

This movie is amazing, one of the few cinematic masterpieces of the drug culture. Faster and faster and faster this meth riddled movie follows it's strange eccentric tweakers and how totally fucked each of them are. It has amazing scene cuts, and fucked up transitions that all add to the experience. I really can't explain this movie at all so I'll just blurt the reasons why you should watch the fuck out of it.

- Really well made
- A green dog named taco
- explosions
- excessively trippy cartoon sequences one of which involves involving flying into a vagina
- Gratuitous nudity / sex? CHECK!!
- and 70's action cop sequences I shit you not.

To further fuck your mind, there are several references to the game and how they all fucking lost.

Monday, November 3, 2008

Mark Whalberg on PCP

Okay so the only thing you need to know about the Max Payne movie is that it has Mark Whalberg kicking loads of ass by doing the most intensely delicious looking drug ever. It's a pleasant blue liquid that's like PCP multiplied by tripping infinite balls. Theres fucking monsters and shit flying around fire and explosions everywhere, it's like hell in Constantine except you are not actually in hell you are just tripping balls and so jacked up you are fucking invincible, and as such you do back flips with shotguns and take out fucking armies.

WARNING: Shit doesn't really go down for an hour, which is lamecore, but then drugs get involved and shit goes uphill from there.