Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Dog Adventures

So I walking down my street with my pipe in my mouth and right when I light my lighter two dogs started barking, and jumped on some guy. The guy was some bmxer who rode past me a few seconds before this. The guy was streaming for help so, I ran up. As soon as I started running they both started to bark and run at me.

I know it will be the end of me, but I am not the slightest bit afraid of dogs. Highly trained killing machine police dogs terrify me, but all other dogs do not. I naturally assume that they are all friendly and if they were to attack someone, they would only do it in a kind of playful manner. These dogs looked like friendly pets, who enjoy attention. So as they were running at me I put my hands out to pet them, and that is what I did. I kneeled there petting them for about 2 minutes then they ran off, barking.

Later on I developed the story that could have possibly been what happened before they got to me.

Both of these dogs looked like they had very recently been cleaned, so either they are good at cleaning themselves or they had just escaped their previous owners. If they were going to escape their owners they must have wanted to, which means that they probably had shitty owners. These dogs were acting like neighbor dogs would act, and yes I am now going to explain now neighbor dogs act. They were overly playful towards each other so they obviously didn't live together. They were very playful in the running around with each other sense, and they weren't awkwardly sniffing each others asses. If they were neighbor dogs they would obviously be used to each others presence, but not used to running in three dimensions with them.

THEY WOULD ONLY PLAY IN 2D! (Running along the fence with each other)

All of this makes sense if you really think about it.

If these two dogs wanted to leave because they hated the humans that owned them, then they must have planned it out all hardcore. Knowing their owners habits, as they would, they trained when their owners were away. One of the dogs would train at jumping (Oh and did I mention that one of them looked like it was good at jumping?), while the other would dig a tunnel under the fence. I say tunnel because the other dog looked like it wouldn't settle for a shitty hole. At night the dogs escaped. The jumping one jumped over the fence into the digging one's yard. This was easy for the jumping dog, as it had been training for months and the fence separating the yards was shorter then the surrounding fences. The digging one finished the lighting system to the tunnel, making it easier to travel through it (this dog was fucking bad as I'm telling you). After escaping the yard they were free to do anything they wanted.

With their new found freedom the two dogs would obviously go to the one place that all free dogs go. That tree from Go Dog Go. Do I need to get a picture? Fuck! Well I'm not going to post it here, I will post a link so that you are reminded of the tree by reading and not right away with the picture. Ok so I couldn't find it, but I did find a picture of a tree that looks like the tree I am talking about. It can be viewed here, when you view it imagine that it is a dog city with a bunch of cool ass dogs partying on it. Once the dogs reached the city they were shocked to see that it wasn't as bumping as the Dr. Seuss book lead them to believe. All the dogs were indoors, it seemed as if they were hiding from something. Wondering what was going on the dogs headed towards the castel and upon arival were rushed to the king dog's chamber. The king dog gave them a quest. A quest to save the great tree dog city from the evil cat dragon, who had been killing dogs who partied.

It looked something like this.


To Be Continued


Anonymous said...

Continue this right now!!