Friday, January 16, 2009

Press B to Doom

Doom, the first game to steep me into the world of senseless violence, and pure unadulterated entertainment. Sadly it was also the first game I played that wasn't featured on a big fucking 10 Inch floppy floppy disk. I don't even know HOW I had a computer that bad seeing as they were made like a hundred fucking years before I was born, but I did. And god was I happy when my family bought a new computer.

Such a MARVELOUS upgrade it was, going from a computer more basic then a fucking single celled organism to... DOS yeah, that's right I was EXCITED about using DOS. Once you headbutted the keyboard enough to find your way to the games section, I can distinctly remember 2 things. One was that you pressed the "B" button on the keyboard to play Doom, the other was that the obnoxiously shitty pixelated titty strip poker game WAS IMPOSSIBLE TO WIN!! Fucking skanks cheated like there was NO tomorrow, and then on top of it all whenever I lost (which was every fucking time) I had to deal with the computer informing me via descriptive text generated message that I was naked before these poor quality photo's of women. Being like 7 years old at the time, it had eternally scarred me.

But regaling to you memories of my technology deprived childhood was not the point of this post, the point of this post is this video of captions from the Doom comic book dramatized for your entertainment. The music is fucking sweet, and the writing is, well... Exactly how the Doom movie script WOULD have been if it stayed true to the game. Also, fans of Evil Dead may notice the MANY references to Ash from the series, a good call in my opinion I mean if you want to imitate a badass you might as well imitate the biggest badass in history.